day 38

Day 38: A bit past Upsala to Thunder Bay 100km

Sometimes it can be hard to motivate yourself after a rest day and breaking routine. As we drove back to where I had left off last night I noticed the grey gloomy day. I thought it was fitting for my mood this morning. I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I had had an awful dream that night. My dad is not usually in my dreams even though I wish all the time that he was. I can’t remember much of it but he had insulted me for wanting to fly somewhere on stand by instead of paying for a ticket ahead of time. I know this sounds ridiculous but I crave having dreams about him and have only had a few where I hear his voice again. This was not the kind I wanted. I tried as well to figure out why I was feeling so low and wondered if it had to do with the pressure of knowing what I am suppose to do next. I keep reminding myself to enjoy the journey and know I will get a sign of what I should do next.

I find we can all get to caught up in the future and not enjoy the moment we are in. This has been a struggle of mine since my dad past away. I use to be scared to live in the present as I had no control over what could happen. In an instant I could get a call telling me another trauma had occurred and another family member was gone. I would constantly just plan my future instead of learning how to be comfortable in the present. I have worked on this for years and for the most part have become very good at it. I think what is happening now is that I am loving so much what I am doing and being able to give back that I want to make sure I continue to have that opportunity. I don’t know, specifically, where this journey will lead, but I’m sure I will find the path because it is my passion. As I was going through all of this on the bike I calmed my thoughts and focused on the journey.

Today I was also grateful for my friend’s company as the day was not the ideal cycling weather or traffic. After calming myself down, my mood started to pick up, I found that I was no longer feeling sluggish and was able to cycle better.

We were making great time to be in Thunder Bay so we decided to stop at Kakabeka falls. Wow they were majestic. I live in a town with lots of waterfalls but there was something different about these ones and they captivated me. My mood was back to how I like to be and was excited for the rest of the day and events to come.

I cycled to the location where I was meeting one of the fire chiefs and other fire fighters to cycle into the city. There were four fire fighters with one of the trucks to escort us into the city and the chief was cycling with me. In addition Scott of Collateral Damage was there to cycle with me too. It was great to finally meet him as we had been in touch for months. He is also very passionate about suicide prevention and unfortunately as well lost his father. I was grateful to be able to chat with him as we cycled into the city. He is an inspiring and dedicated individual! I look forward to chatting with him more.

After the event we then met the family who is hosting us in Thunder Bay. Barb and Jack’s son know my friends parents in Kelowna and asked if they could help us out while we were in town. I love getting to meet people in the different towns we pass through. At night we went for dinner and did not stop chatting and laughing all night. They are such a wonderful family and so kind to take us in. I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of the family tomorrow. Now time to enjoy the sound of the lake and fall asleep.